The story of how the bandit Angulimala gave up his extreme violence after meeting with the Buddha shows that whatever mistakes we have made in our lives, change is always possible. We can stop doing the harmful things that we have been doing, and commit ourselves to living in a way that benefits all beings, including ourselves.

On one occasion the Buddha was staying at Anathapindika’s monastery in Jeta’s Grove, near the city of Shravasti. One day, after he had eaten his mid-day meal, the Buddha picked up his robes and bowl, and headed in the direction of the Great Forest of Kosala which was not far away.

Now at that time, a bandit named Angulimala was living in the forest. He had a reputation for being extremely brutal and had blood on his hands from the numerous victims he had killed. He showed no mercy to anyone.

As the Buddha walked towards the forest, the cowherds, shepherds and farmers who saw him called out to him, “Don’t go along that road, Lord Buddha, or you will be attacked by Angulimala the brutal bandit. He has blood on his hands from the many victims he has killed, and shows no mercy to anyone. He wears a gruesome necklace of fingers, and even groups of thirty or forty men have fallen victim to him.” The Buddha heard them and acknowledged their warnings, but just kept walking on in silence.

A second time and a third time they called out to warn him, but again the Buddha heard them, acknowledged their warnings, and just kept walking on in silence.

As the Buddha entered the forest, Angulimala was sitting at his lookout post on the top of a high cliff overlooking the road, and when he saw a lone figure on the road below he sprang into action. Rushing down from the cliff, he was determined that today would see the fulfilment of the long and arduous task that he had been set many moons ago.

A promising student
The story of the Buddha’s encounter with Angulimala is told in the Pali Scriptures, which are the earliest written records of the Buddha and his teachings, but the early life of Angulimala is not recorded there. However, the traditional story is that he was a young man from a well-connected family who lived in Shravasti. His name was Ahimsaka, meaning ‘the harmless one’, and he had been sent far away to study at the great university of Taxila, near the banks of the Indus River in what is present-day Pakistan. In those days Taxila was one of the foremost places of learning in the whole of India, and the young Ahimsaka, who was very clever and well-behaved, excelled at his studies.

Unfortunately, he excelled so much that some of the other students became jealous of him. They felt that he put them all in the shade, and to put a stop to this they were determined to prevent him from graduating. Organised by their ringleader, a thoroughly lazy student who people called Feckless Ninga, they went to their teacher in groups of twos or threes, and one after another recounted the same made-up tales of how Ahimsaka’s character was so terrible and his behaviour so appalling. Initially the teacher dismissed their stories for the envious smears that they were, but as more and more students related the same concerns, the teacher’s mind gradually turned against Ahimsaka. The jealous students had succeeded in their plan, so that as graduation approached the teacher set Ahimsaka an impossible challenge, one which he knew that ‘the harmless one’ wouldn’t even be able to contemplate fulfilling. The challenge was that Ahimsaka must present the teacher with a gift of a thousand little fingers, each from the right hand of a different person.

Ahimsaka initially complained to the teacher about how unfair this was, and said he couldn’t possibly do it as he came from a peaceful and law-abiding family. The teacher, however, was immovable in his demands, and perhaps the injustice of the whole situation enraged Ahimsaka so much that his mind became disturbed and he began to contemplate fulfilling the challenge, mistakenly thinking that this would then allow him to graduate. His parents had given up so much to send him to the university, and he didn’t want to let them down by going home empty handed.

Taking up the challenge
So Ahimsaka, ‘the harmless one’, starts to consider how he can acquire these fingers. Even to consider something like this is to turn towards the possibility of doing harm, and to start to sow confusion in our minds. This growing confusion then leads us to make poor decisions, as we are no longer seeing things clearly. But Ahimsaka quickly finds that putting this decision into practice is not at all easy for someone who has been a law-abiding and diligent student up until this point. Perhaps the first time that he tries to approach someone to get their finger, he finds he can’t bring himself to do it. Perhaps he has to try several times before eventually tackling someone.

That first encounter must have set his heart racing. He must have felt a sense of going against something important, deep inside, because he was stepping way beyond what he knew to be right. That first attempt may well have ended in failure, as he didn’t know what he was doing and still wasn’t quite committed to it. Having tried once though, the next time would not have felt quite so strange, as already the idea of causing harm had become normalised in his mind. By force of will he managed to overcome his better judgement, and crossed the Rubicon of actually causing harm to another person. It is likely that he would have had great feelings of remorse after doing this, but by this time his mind had turned significantly towards doing harm; the confusion and disturbance that this caused him led him to ignore and suppress his doubts and hesitation in order to chase the cherished prize of graduating.

Although to begin with the novice bandit still wants to do as little harm as possible, he quickly finds that no one is willing to give up their little finger without a struggle. With his first few victims he tries to cause as little injury as he can, but this is difficult and time-consuming, and he realises that he risks getting wounded himself if his victims fight back. Now that he has become accustomed to using violence to get his way, it may have felt like only a small step to just kill each victim outright and take their finger. The gradual transformation from ‘the harmless one’ to a violent bandit is now complete.

The reign of terror
As his collection of fingers steadily grows, it becomes harder to carry them around with him. He tries hanging them on a tree, but finds that the birds peck at them and knock them off, so he ends up tying them on a cord, which he then wears around his neck. As a result, the terrified townspeople start referring to him as Angulimala, which means Finger Necklace.

In and around the university, Angulimala is finding it hard to ambush victims in places where their cries won’t alert others who might come to their aid. As a result, his collection of fingers is not growing quickly enough for his liking, so he decides to travel back to his home area around Shravasti. He knows the Great Forest of Kosala very well, and realises that this would be an excellent place to ambush people, as an important local road passes right through it. Reaching the forest he builds a hut on top of a high cliff, from where he has an excellent view of the road below. Whenever he sees travellers passing through the forest he rushes down and attacks them. Not just solitary travellers, but large groups of people too. He becomes infamous for his skill in ambushing people, but never steals anything valuable from his victims, only taking that single little finger from the right hand of each one.

Before long people stop using the road through the forest, so Angulimala has to resort to going into the neighbouring villages and killing people in their homes. The survivors flee, so that whole villages become abandoned. His violent killing spree turns villages into non-villages, and towns into non-towns, and it turns once peaceful countryside into wild and dangerous countryside. As a result of his exertions Angulimala has become strong and athletic and skilled in the use of weapons, and with the garland of severed fingers around his neck he must have been a terrifying sight to anyone who encountered him.

By the time the day arrives when the Buddha sets out towards the forest, Angulimala has amassed a total of 999 fingers in his necklace, and needs just one more to complete his teacher’s challenge. Seeing a lone figure walking slowly along the road below he is convinced that he can’t fail to get that final finger. In his delusion, he still thinks that this will then allow him to graduate and go back to a normal life.

Attempts to stop Angulimala
Meanwhile, those villagers who had had to flee from the settlements around the forest had gone to complain to King Pasenadi, the king of Kosala. The forest lay in his domain, and Pasenadi realised that he had to put a stop to Angulimala’s reign of terror. He decides to set out with an army of 500 horsemen, in order to track down Angulimala and kill him.

Angulimala’s parents, who still live in Shravasti, soon hear about the king’s plan to hunt down an outlaw. They remember that many years ago when their son Ahimsaka was born there were some very bad omens which suggested that he would become a bandit, and that he would be a lone bandit rather than the leader of a gang. Because of these signs, the parents had named their child Ahimsaka, as up to that point no one had been harmed by his birth, and they hoped that it may long remain so.

Hearing that the king is now hunting for a lone bandit, the parents are convinced that this Angulimala must be their own son Ahimsaka. His father doesn’t want to get involved, but his mother fears for her son’s life and sets out to find him and warn him about the king’s plan to track him down and kill him. She knows that she risks being killed by her own son, but that doesn’t stop her.

Back at the monastery, the Buddha realises what is going on. He knows that if he is able to meet with Angulimala he can get him to see the error of his ways and change his behaviour. If, on the other hand, Angulimala makes his own mother his one-thousandth victim, then the Buddha will no longer be able to help him. This is because, in Buddhism, the killing of one’s mother is considered to be one of the five most harmful acts that a person can commit, the consequences of which are so severe that Angulimala would no longer be able to hear even the Buddha’s teaching. It would be a very long time indeed before anyone was able to get through to him, to help him change his destructive behaviour. And so the Buddha sets out for the forest, a little way ahead of Angulimala’s mother, who is travelling the same road.

The quest for the final finger
When Angulimala rushes down from his lookout post, it is actually his mother who he first meets. She recognises him immediately and gives him some food that she has brought for him. Angulimala is taken aback when he realises that he was about to kill his own mother, and is happy to accept the food from her. She warns him that the king’s army are searching for him, and his heart is softened by her love for him and by her kindness. It must have been a long time since someone had talked kindly to him, rather than attacking him or running away in fear. After a while though, Angulimala’s desire to obtain that final finger gets the better of him, and he decides that he must still make his mother his thousandth, and final, victim.

Angulimala draws his sword ready to strike, but as he raises it above his head he notices out of the corner of his eye that there is also another person on the road. Off in the distance, walking slowly away from him, he sees the figure of the Buddha. Realising instantly that he can now get his final finger without killing his mother, he sets off in pursuit. Angulimala chuckles to himself, “ How amazing it is! Even groups of thirty or forty men can’t hold me off when I attack them, and yet this contemplative comes alone and unarmed. How easy this will be!”

Angulimala encounters the Buddha
But then a strange thing happens. Angulimala is running after the Buddha, whilst the Buddha is just walking slowly along; even so, Angulimala realises that he isn’t gaining on the Buddha. He speeds up, but still the distance doesn’t diminish. Faster and faster he goes until he is running at top speed to try and catch up with the Buddha, but to no avail. Angulimala can’t believe it, because he knows he can usually outrun a horse, a chariot, or even a deer, and yet now he can’t even catch this middle-aged monk, just walking along at a normal pace.

Angulimala can run no more, and stops in his tracks. He calls out to the Buddha, “Stop, contemplative! Stop!”

Still walking steadily on, the Buddha replies to Angulimala, “I have stopped Angulimala, now you too must stop.”

Angulimala is thoroughly confused by this. The Buddha is claiming to have stopped, even though he is still walking. Angulimala knows that the Buddha has a reputation for only speaking the truth, so he decides to question the Buddha, and calls out to him:

“Though you are still walking, contemplative, you say, ‘I have stopped.’
Even though I have stopped, you say I haven’t.
I ask you the meaning of this:
How have you stopped? How haven’t I?”

The Buddha replies:

“Angulimala, I have stopped being violent towards living beings,
I have given up harming beings once and for all.
You, though, continue to kill and harm all those you meet.
That’s how I have stopped, and that’s how you haven’t stopped.”

Angulimala is deeply affected by the Buddha’s kind and compassionate words. He still can’t quite believe that the Buddha isn’t afraid of him. Usually people run away from him, or aim insults and weapons at him, but the Buddha is calm and untroubled, and speaking kindly to him. Angulimala’s heart is softened a second time, just as it was when he met his mother, but this time he sees clearly the error of his ways, and realises that he has to follow the Buddha’s teaching. In gratitude he replies to the Buddha:

“At long last a Reverend Great Teacher has come to this great forest for my sake.
Having heard your verse which is in accord with the Dharma,
I now commit myself to stopping;
I will no longer be violent towards any living thing.”

After saying this, Angulimala abandoned his weapons and made bows of respect and gratitude to the Buddha. He asked to join the Buddha’s monastic community, and the Buddha said to him, “Come bhikkhu.” This was Angulimala’s acceptance into the Buddha’s monastic Sangha.

The Buddha then made his way back to the monastery, with the new Ven. Angulimala as his attendant.

The king sets out to catch Angulimala
Back in the city of Shravasti, no one yet knew what had just happened between Angulimala and the Buddha. A large crowd had gathered at the gates to the palace to force the king to actually carry out his plan to track down Angulimala. The king knew he had to act, and as soon as his horsemen were ready he set out from the palace.

The king was a devoted follower of the Buddha, and so as they passed the monastery he stopped his forces at the monastery gates in order to pay the Buddha a visit. Leaving his chariot and horsemen behind, he entered the monastery alone to pay his respects to the Buddha. In the midst of the monastic assembly the king knelt before the Buddha, eager to hear any teaching that the Buddha may offer. As the king knelt there, the Buddha asked him where he was going, and why he had such a large retinue of soldiers with him. Was he under attack from a neighbouring kingdom? The king assured the Buddha that he was not under attack, and explained that he was setting out with force of arms to put an end to the bandit Angulimala’s reign of terror, once and for all.

The Buddha then addressed the king saying, “Great king, if you were to find out that Angulimala was sitting here with his hair and beard shaved off, wearing the saffron robes of a monk, having committed himself to refraining from killing, and living by the precepts, of virtuous character and impeccable behaviour, how would you react?”

The king didn’t understand why the Buddha would ask such a question about the despicable Angulimala, but replied that if that was the case he would, of course, bow down in respect to him, and would support him with the four necessities of food, clothing, shelter and medicine.

At that time, Angulimala was sitting among the other monks, not far from the Buddha, and the Buddha raised his right arm and pointed him out to the king. At this the king became terrified and feared for his life, so that the Buddha had to reassure him that Angulimala was not a danger to him, and that he needn’t be afraid. Eventually the king regained his composure and went and bowed to Angulimala, and offered to support him with the necessities of practice as he had promised.

Returning to kneel before the Buddha, he praised him saying, “How marvellous and wonderful it is! What we failed to achieve with force and weapons, you have achieved using neither. How marvellous!” Then, saying that he had much to do, he hurried away.

Angulimala on the other hand remained in the Buddha’s monastic assembly for the rest of his life. Things were not always easy for him, as the people of Shravasti and the surrounding areas had not forgotten his terrible crimes. He was often verbally abused and sometimes physically attacked, but he accepted these as the consequences of his previous actions, and lived out his days in peace and non-violence as a member of the Buddha’s monastic Sangha.

Reflections on the story of Angulimala
It’s important to realise that this story is not about justice, it’s about the inner work we must do in letting go of anger and hatred, and allowing our confusion to dissolve. It is true that in the story there is no justice for the victims of Angulimala’s crimes. Angulimala must inevitably receive the karmic consequences of his actions, but in terms of justice, it seems wrong that he ‘gets away with it’ and isn’t held to account. In our society today, there would still be a legal procedure to follow, however repentant Angulimala was, and however well he was now behaving. In the Buddha’s day however, the king would have been the final arbiter of justice, and the king has already made his decision about how to treat Angulimala, bowing to him and making offerings. There would have been no higher court above the king that the victims and their families could have appealed to.

What the story of Angulimala does show us, is that however lost we are in harmful behaviour, there is always the possibility of changing direction. However mistaken or deluded we may be in our aims, or however confused we are about how we live our life, we can decide to do things differently. In Buddhism, no one is considered to be inherently evil or inherently good. Our actions, on the other hand, can very definitely be harmful or beneficial. We may think that Angulimala the bandit was a very bad person, but it is more accurate, and more helpful, to think of him as a confused person who, as a result of that confusion, was doing bad things. When he stopped committing violence his life turned in a different direction. If he was an inherently bad person, how would he have been able to live with gratitude and compassion after he met the Buddha?

Fortunately most of us have not done anything as harmful as Angulimala did, but we can easily fall into the belief that we have done something which is too terrible to be forgiven.

If we want to make a change in our life we should first of all wholeheartedly acknowledge the harm that we have done, not making any excuses for our behaviour, and accepting that we are responsible for what we did. Then we should commit to refraining from doing those things in the future. Putting that into practice is always a challenge, and sometimes we make mistakes, but if we do trip up it doesn’t help to judge ourselves or to be put off. If we can pick ourselves up again and renew our commitment to living well, in a way which doesn’t cause harm, then the way forward is open to us. If we can do that, we don’t actually need anyone else’s forgiveness (which they may or may not give), but if we find that we are judging ourselves, then we do need to forgive ourselves. What helps with this is to realise that we only caused harm in the past because we didn’t know any better. We were confused by our own fear, or anger, or desire, and couldn’t see clearly. We need to put down the burden of guilt so that we can walk on freely, fully committed to refraining from causing harm.

Perhaps as important a lesson to draw from the story is that even a ‘good’ person, like the young Ahimsaka, can become misled and confused by circumstances and their own tendencies, and can think that causing harm is an acceptable way to achieve their goals. We may think that we could never do anything like that, but how do we know? If we want to guard against that possibility then we must pay attention to the thoughts and feelings that arise within us. If we do that, then we have the possibility of noticing when our thoughts start turning in the direction of causing harm. If at that point we can refrain, then no harm is caused. If we don’t notice, or don’t let go of those thoughts, then we will find that harmful thoughts flow out into harmful speech, and harmful speech flows out into harmful action, so that before we know it we have become a different person, just as Angulimala went from being ‘the harmless one’ to being the violent bandit.

At any point along this path we can stop, and we can come back to the undisturbed peaceful mind of refraining from causing harm. However, the further along this path we go, the more difficult we find it to change direction, as with each additional step our minds become more confused, and less able to see what the right thing to do is. If we want to save ourselves from all these difficulties, then we must be willing to notice even the slightest tendency to turn in the direction of doing harm, and as soon as we notice, to refrain and come back to the still mind of not harming. At times it might seem like we are being very strict with ourselves and holding ourselves in check, but when we truly see the consequences of going in this direction, why would we ever want to go there?

Sources:
There are many versions of the story of Angulimala available online, and the following have been particularly helpful:

The website of Angulimala, The Buddhist Prison Chaplaincy:
https://angulimala.org.uk/the-story-of-angulimala/

Access to Insight, https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.086.than.html

The Wikipedia article on Angulimala:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A%E1%B9%85gulim%C4%81la